3 Year Olds & Musical Chairs

Whomever in the world came up with the game musical Chairs for kids should be shot! As many of you know, Mary Catherine goes to Central Methodist Mothers Morning Out. This is a program which I highly recommend and think is absolutely wonderful. However, I must share with you our most recent school discipline issues with Mary Catherine. The year Mary Catherine was born, I think everyone else in the world had boys. Until this year, her class has been all boys. Not that there is anything wrong with it but, boys are generally rougher playmates than little girls. To say the least, Mary Catherine fits right in with the guys! She pretty much bosses them around and tells them what they can and can not do. She is pretty bossy ( I have no idea where she gets this trait from-HA!). Well, to make a long story short, we were getting reports from school that Mary Catherine was being sent to "TIME OUT" on a pretty regular basis for pushing and shoving. We spent considerable amounts of time "discussing" this aggressive behavior with her and we tried every kind of punishment you can think of from taking the princess dolls to no princess movies. After a week of "Time Out" reports, we told her we would not tolerate behavior that hurt other people and if she did it again she would have to be spanked. The next day, Mother was to pick Mary Catherine up from school and if the teachers reported any problems she was to bring her to me at my office. I dreaded 12 noon. When I saw the white CTS pull up at the office...I almost wanted to cry. In comes Gaga with Mary Catherine following behind with her head hung low. Mother reports that she once again spent a considerable amount of time in the "TIME OUT" chair today. I sat her upon my desk and asked what in the world was going on? In the sweetest little voice you have ever heard..."Mommy, I shoved Riley." Break my heart and make me want to cry. Okay I asked, "what did I tell you was going to happen?" Lip poked out..."I am going to get a spanking." So, I take her into the conference room and she gets a spanking. I feel like dirt but I had promised. I decide the next day, I am going down to the school and observe. So at 10:30 am, I head to MMO. When I arrive, I go to the observation window but the teachers know I am there. I see all the precious little 3 year olds playing, singing and laughing. Then Mrs. Patricia says..."Now it is time for Musical Chairs." She lines the 3 year olds up and sets out the chairs in a straight line. The music starts. The kids begin to walk. The music stops. Panic sets in as several of the 3 year olds want the same chair. They are pushing and shoving and tackling...It is awful! This continues for 5-6 more times. Then I see it about to happen. As chairs disappear...Fear is setting in. At this point Mary Catherine is in the middle of RJ Lee and Robbie Jordan. RJ is in the front and Robbie is in the back. The music stops as Mary Catherine is rounding the end of the chairs. RJ continues to the other end and Robbie takes a seat in the last chair. Mary Catherine turns, puts her hands on her hips and looks at Robbie as if you say "HOW DARE YOU TAKE A LADIES SEAT!" and shoves him right out of the chair on to the floor as pretty as you please and sits down in his chair. Of course, she was immediately disqualified to the "TIME OUT" chair. It was a sad moment for this Mother. I immediately knew the feeling she was having...Being "OUT" and "NOT THE WINNER" and in her mind failing! It was an awful feeling, I remembered from my childhood. I knew what I had to do. I waited until her "TIMEOUT" period had passed and I went to the door and got her for the day. I told the teachers I had seen what had just transpired. I assured them it wouldn't happen again. She and I were going to go have a "talk". Mary Catherine and I went to lunch and we talked about "winning, losing and how we play the game." We also talked about being "OUT". We learned that afternoon that being "OUT" didn't mean we weren't succeeding or that we were failing. It is funny, I remember having this discussion with my Dad some 30 years ago...Mine came when I showed a horse, lost and then acted like a bad loser. I am sure this isn't the last time I will have this discussion with my daughter but, I hope she learned "it matters not if you win or lose, its how you play the game that really matters!" If she can carry this with her, she will be okay for the rest of her life. Stephanie